Leaves of Grace: by Lelia Jones

I have repeated the statement “I cannot believe it is October” every day since the beginning of the month. How did we get here?! Where has the time gone?! Not only is it October, but we are almost two weeks in, and I feel like the month is flying by. I have felt this way since the moment the program began at the end of August. People were not joking around when they said we would be busy if we did the Fellows Program. If anything, that almost feels like an understatement. In the last blog post Anna Hofmann summarized our first few weeks in Nashville. Since then, we have established a work and class routine. My “fellow Fellows” and I have gotten to know each other through class discussions taught by incredible leaders in the Nashville community like Morgan Wills, Scotty Smith, Greg Davis, and Sammy Wood. Monday night roundtable dinners have been full of laughter as we continue class discussions and navigate cooking in the Allen’s kitchen. One of my favorite Monday afternoon activities was when our group got to work with the staff and other volunteers at Preston Taylor Ministries. We assisted with homework and played soccer with elementary and middle school students and will hopefully get to do this once a month! On the weekends we have been able to explore the city we now call home. We have walked in Percy Warner, seen the new James Bond movie No Time to Die (I will not give you any spoilers, but I cried at the end), explored 12th South, experienced a Friday night on Broadway (I think we counted 15 bachelorette parties), and participated in a group dynamics retreat in Kingston Springs, Tennessee.

The purpose of this retreat was to learn more about our enneagram numbers and explore how we individually manage conflict. As someone who likes to avoid discussing conflict, I was not particularly looking forward to this weekend, but the Fellows Program has a way of surprising you and one of my favorite experiences in Nashville so far happened on the retreat. On Saturday we had two hours of silent reflection and time with God. I spent twenty of these minutes looking up at a tree that was in the process of losing its leaves, and I was struck by how much I had in common with it. I felt like I related to the green leaves, the ones that were still attached and not ready to let go. There have been moments during this move where I have not wanted to let go of my college self and school routines. Then there were the brown and yellow leaves that fell sometimes one or two at a time when the air was still and then by the bucketload when a breeze weaved its way through the trees. I tried to catch one or two, but the leaves were unpredictable and would shift directions when I reached for them. Every few minutes a leaf would fall on my head or on my shoulder. These leaves reminded me of the importance of letting go and being brave in moments of transition. They also reminded me of God’s grace, falling all around me- at different times and landing in different places. God’s grace has been falling all around me since I moved to Nashville. I have a wonderful host family, a great job, and a spectacular church community. That does not mean everything is easy. Getting around has proven to be more difficult than expected- I mean one moment you are driving down a road and then all of the sudden its name changes, and I learned that Harding Pike and Harding Place are not the same thing. There is also an adjustment period that comes when moving cities and in the case of this year’s program, moving in with a host family.

However, just like the leaves, things are falling into place. I know that God’s grace is here, and it is falling all around me. I can feel it.

I feel it when I come home and have dinner with the Brewers and when the seventh-grade girls participate in our small group’s discussion at West End. I feel it in the hallways at St. Paul Christian Academy when a teacher smiles at me and when a student runs into the office because they lost a tooth. I think coming out of college after a year and a half of isolation and separation and stepping into the open arms of the Nashville community has given me so much hope for the future.

Growing up my mom used to sing “This is the day that the Lord has made” up the stairs to wake us up, and at night she would tell us “May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you; may the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace ” Numbers 6: 24-26. Those two constants of my childhood have never felt more true. I wake up confidently knowing that this is the day the Lord has made for me, that I am supposed to be in Nashville in this program, and that the uncertain future will fall into place. I also fall asleep secure in the knowledge that the Lord has blessed me and will continue to keep me regardless of what the next day holds. Some days are harder than others and time is flying by. However, in the midst of uncertainty I remember these verses and the leaves falling in Kingston Springs and I know that the Nashville Fellows Program is the right place for me.